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[22 Mar 2005|01:52pm] |
hey hey
My new lj is nowithink.
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| New Journal |
[21 Mar 2005|08:30pm] |
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think of me-phantom |
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The show was a big hit! I'm proud of it and we got a great response! They ran out of programs, the house was pact! They laughed a lot more than we thought and thats all we could ask for. I went to the after party for an hour or so, but I left early cause I was feeling pretty crappy.
I wasn't feeling all that well all week, and now that I'm finally done the show and I actually slept, the stress and sickness came and bit me hard on the ass. I feel like death. I'm aching all over, sore throat, stuffed nose, headache...just awful! I always get sick after a show. And if I don't get sick, I get depressed...not fun. Anyway, I called my prof and told him I was sick and not coming to class and he said "I'm surprised some people can even walk after the show." haha oh I love Antanas.
Anyway, I decided that I'm going to get a new livejournal name thingy. I've had this one forever, and I feel like a new person, so I think it's a good move to make.
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| SKETCH SHOW TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! |
[19 Mar 2005|11:10pm] |
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Green Day - American Idiot |
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Hey all!
That's riiight! The big sketch show is tomorrow! I'm so excited! It's going to be good. I can only speak for my class though. We're the first class presenting. The last class I think will be very good, I'm not sure about the second class (Which is why I think they're second). But anyway, we're all doing a sketch in the end (that people in my class invented thank you very much). I can't believe it's tomorrow! It feels like yesterday we were excited about rehearsals. I don't really miss my classes though. The only class I like right now is stand up and improv.
Oh man, I'm not looking forward to after the after part because on Monday I have so much crap to do! I have this thing for physical comedy that Dylan and I didn't work on AT ALL, then I have to read the stories for English that I should do right now, and this I'm actually looking forward to, I'm seeing a play with Geoff in second year. Then I have to find a way home (which should be loads of fun) and then I'm off to Jessie's to sleep over. Or if not, I'll go over in the morning, whatever. I'm really looking forward to Tues with Jessie though! Oh crap! I also forgot about my psychology test Wed! WHORE! Oh well, I have notes and I was in class this time, thank god. Oh poo...I also have to memorize lines for Wed. for my scene with Rizo. I don't think anyone did though so I should be okay...ahem...
Anyway, COME TO THE SHOW! It'll be a lot of fun! It's at Humber College on Lakeshore in building A in the auditorium. I think it costs $2? Not sure... I think if you look like a student they wont even notice and let you just walk in... JUST GO! It's at 8pm!
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| I think I got it... |
[15 Mar 2005|01:48pm] |
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Sherl Crow - the first cut is the deepest |
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Okay, I'm writing something to film for the summer and it's about relationships (what else). And I realized a big DUH, but anyway... the thing that makes relationships so confusing/annyoing/hard/frusterating is because we don't know what's always going on with someone else, and we can't force that they feel or think a certain way. And we can't help what we (ourselves) feel. If it's your feelings, no matter how hard you try, you can't escape how you feel. Whether you like someone who treats you bad, or someone who just doesnt want you back, or someone who loves you but is a moron, if you have feelings for that person for whatever reason, reason doesn't matter. In more ways than one. I don't know if I'm making any sense...I'm just thinking out loud and typing it...riiight...
But does anyone get what I mean? I'll always remember the line from Save the Last Dance (of all movies) "you can't help who you love. You're not suppose to." I think even though we get strong feelings from someone, keep in mind that some feelings eventually do change, and yet some don't. Even though at the moment it always feels like the feeling wont ever change...BUT IT DOES!! Dun dun dunnn...
At these times, it's mind boggling to think that so many people are going through the same emotions, questions, wonder about their lives and what's to become of them, and yet most of us feel alone. We feel alone, yet we're surrounded by people that feel the exact same way and are going through simular things. The problem is communication. I think we've all lost communication in the past five or so years...then again, have people ever been able to REALLY communicate? (I wish I took philosophy) I don't know about anyone else, but I HATE msn...I miss talking to people face to face, but with everyone being busy and when everyone has so much going all, we condensed what is suppose to be a "conversation" by using the internet to talk to everyone at once so we don't lose touch. I'm not a fan of the phone either, but I think listening to a familiar friendly voice is the best medicine to any wound. Our lives have been so nuts recently, that I think we lose sight of what's really important (yes, cliche, I know). I just love having a small group of people and just talking. The best conversations are with the least amount of people. I wish I could set time for everyone everday. It would be like, okay Monday is Jessie's day...Tuesday is Jessica's...etc. Even for an hour! I just miss everyone, and if even being with a good friend for a short time is better than having a huge group of people for a few hours because the time you spend with that person would basically be the same anyway. I don't know...I know I can't have it all, although I damn wish I could!!
Also, to go with this, in romantic relationships that end sadly, I really envy them. Because if you think about it, they at least had someone at some point, they had happy times, and they say (don't ask who they are, cause I don't know) that it takes half of the relationship to get over the person. So even if you are depressed or heartbroken, at least you had double the happiness and experiences. Sure you'll miss them, but you can always think of the times you HAD them. So in a way (more cliches) in any bad situation with another person, it never ended because you'll always have the positive times.
I'm not really sure what the point of this whole rambling was about...I started with a point and just lost it. Well, anyway, I hope got some insight of what I've been going nuts about recently. I'm trying to crack the code to my insanity mwahaha...riiight...I should just skip this and write poetry. But I haven't updated in a while. Oh god, more rambling...okay! I'm done! I swear! You won't hear the last of me!!!
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| FUCK! |
[08 Mar 2005|07:22pm] |
Holy crap,
nothing is going right! My sketch directors don't give a shit about the show, I don't think any of my sketches will be put in, and I think I only have one minute role. So I wouldn't suggest anyone to come if you're going to come to see me. Yes, the show will be entertaining (I hope) as long as Robin gets her act together! Ugh!!
Also, I'm failing english, and I have a proposal for psychology that I have no idea what it's going to be on, because I'm retarded and don't understand ANYTHING!!!
AHHH! I CAN'T fail! I've never failed a course in my life, and I'm not about to start now, especially when my mom wouldn't shut up about how I should bring my marks up when my average was 73%. It's not the best, but it's okay for my first semester. I hate how everyone in my family are treating me like I'm a spoiled brat because I complain about school. Just because it's a comedy program doesn't mean it's a picnic in the park. My sister always complains that she had to do real work and whatever and I don't have to do anything. I'll admit, it's a lot easier to deal with than what other programs have, but it's either this, or nothing because I wouldn't try at all with anything else. Either my heart is in it, or I'll get zero. So I'm prepared to work my ass off for my classes so I can at least say I tried.
ahhh! people piss me off! I just want to be left alone! The only people not pissing me off are my friends. And I hardly see them, so what does that tell me? I want Ben & Jerry's...
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| The world shall be mine! |
[07 Mar 2005|06:47pm] |
Okay,
We had the first day of rehearsals for the sketch show, and I knew this would happen. Everyone is casting the same people, and I was casting in a couple so I'm not complaining so much even though they were the smallest roles, but it's not fair to everyone else.
Anywho, on the way home I was day dreaming of what I should do about getting The Time Traveler's Wife made. I first thought of calling the author and getting permission first so I don't waste my time, then maybe I'll call my uncle in LA and ask him to hook me up with a producer (I'll send him the script). Then, if that goes well, I'll talk to the producer and go to LA to speak with him/her and audition for the role of Clare, and then get Johnny Depp abord (if he agrees. If not, I'll get my backup mwhaha) and then I'll give a list of my demands that must be met such as: Jessie being the make-up artist and..yeah I'm sure theres more...anywho, of course my demands will be met because I'm a nobody, so they'll have to listen to me, right?? RIGHT?? Ahem...Oh god...
Yeah, so of course I'll need to talk to people because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll talk to my profs, after the sketch show and some people and see what I can do. I'll first need an agent and head shots...ahh! so much to do!
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| READING WEEK! |
[01 Mar 2005|08:06pm] |
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kelly clarkson - because of you |
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Hey!
Yes! It's reading week! Except for me it's writing week. I decided to go on a hunger strike against myself. I will finish THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE before reading week is over! So Jessie, be prepared for a call from moi mwhaha.
And after I get that done, I have to write a bunch of sketches for the sketch show on MARCH 20! IT'S A SUNDAY! PEOPLE PLEASE COME!
Oh! My sister has just informed me that Randy River is hiring full-time for the summer. I shall drop off my resume.
I'm not sure I know what to report, nothing has really happened. I'm seeing JoJo on Sunday! YAY!
So..yeah, if anyone wants to get together, let me know! My week is open! Somewhat...oh god...
tootles!
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| Oh dear! |
[15 Feb 2005|05:14pm] |
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tomorrow-silverchair |
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Alo all!
Oh dear, I was watching Oprah today and I thought of a script I could write about this kind of mother/daughter relationships. I don't know why I like writing about bad relationships when I've never really had one...but that's what research is for! Go research!
Anywho, this got me thinking of other scripts I want to write but not yet have completed (or started). Anywho, I wrote down all my script thingies and I have TEN scripts that I want to write! That's insane! And I was suppose to finish like, 5 of them by now (woops). But I have a plan...oh yes...a plan...
I will buy 10 notebooks (one for each script) and because I don't like writing on the computer, I can a script wherever I go! That way I'll always be writing! boo ya grandma! The only one I have fully completed was that pregnant teen thing and that was because I had a due date and I had a notebook so I wrote in it all the time! So if I wrote on my bus rides (which is 2hrs) I'll get a lot done. Hopefully.
Anywho, enough with the boring crap. EE! We had a first year sketch show workshop. What we had to do was perform our mini sketch shows to the first years. Theres around 4 or 5 groups per class (and my whole class got to perform!) and I must say, my class was AWESOME!!! THE BEST! I was dying from laughing! Holy crap! This one group in my class ended with a big dry hump orgie haha good times...so yeah everyone thinks that my whole class is gay cause there were so many scenes with the guys in my class getting a little too close for comfort (if you follow me...) we even had a gay cavemen scene (that I wrote thank you very much). I screwed up the best line in my group's sketch show, but Michelle saved my ass by correcting me (go Michelle!) and Tim actually lit a ciggarette and started smoking not once...not twice...but three times baby! And thank god my teacher liked it, and we didn't set off any alarms haha.
So all in all, it was sooo much better than I thought it was going to be. Woo!
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[13 Feb 2005|04:17pm] |
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Think of me - phantom |
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Hey hey
Yes I am aware that the most annoying holiday is tomorrow. But I'll just look at it as another day that I am ALONE! Ahem...well not technically, cause I'll be having pizza with my grandma so it's all gravy baby.
I haven't written the Time Traveler's Wife in soooo long! If I ever want this movie to get made, I better get back on it. I'm at 60 something pages and Henry's meeting Clare's parents! I really must shorten this, but I'll do that when I'm done. Dear lord, so much to do. Let me make my list so I can look at it and realize of what little I have accomplished.
1. Finish Time Traveler's Wife
2. Finish weird Darren script
3. Find an agent
4. Get headshots
5. Find clubs to perform at
6. Bring up marks (Notice how down the list it is)
7. Stalk Johnny Depp (ahem...how did that get there...)
8. Finish other sappy romantic/soul searching scripts
9. GET A JOB
10. Work on video Demos
11. Get in shape/lose weight
12. Figure out how the hell I'm going to do all of this!
13. Get over myself
14. Find volunteer work that'll make me feel good about myself (oh boy)
15. End this list cause it's giving me a headache
Okay, I think we all feel better now. If I wasn't so lazy, I would have less boredom, and less stress. But that's in a perfect world where I would have motivation or willpower. BUT I MUST HAVE IT! Okay..wat would be a good due date for all of this...(not that I would meet it). Okay, I will finish the Time Traveler's Wife when school ends, and I will lose weight by then as well. Yay, killed two birds with one due date. And...yeah, I think I'll just leave everything till last minute like I always do. Seems to be working for me so far (ahem).
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[10 Feb 2005|10:42pm] |
haha okay, I'm a dumbass. Here it is:
LJ Friends Meme by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) coolerq• You must tell 6 people about this game.
• Darren is the one that you love.
• Graham is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about Ashley.
• Jessica is the one who knows you very well.
• Laura is your lucky star.
• Miss you Love is the song that matches with Darren.
• Think of me is the song for Graham.
• If I can dream is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and Your body is a wonderland is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
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[10 Feb 2005|10:38pm] |
Hey hey,
this quiz was right about I think three or four out of the eleven...but anywho, give it a go so my dream can come true haha.
LJ Friends Meme by coolerq• You must tell #2 people about this game.
• #3 is the one that you love.
• #7 is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about #4.
• #5 is the one who knows you very well.
• #6 is your lucky star.
• #8 is the song that matches with #3.
• #9 is the song for #7.
• #10 is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and #11 is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
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| Rich and Famous does not equal happiness |
[07 Feb 2005|03:43pm] |
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viva forever - spice girls |
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I was thinking about my career and what I want in life. What I WANT is to be an actress, comedian, writer, director, producer, editor, singer, musician, a family, have a comfortable life but do extrodinary things and be happy. That could happen right? I mean, I don't care about fame or whatever, all I want is to do my own thing, not be poor, and have a family. I think that's what everyone wants.
All the time I would look at my parents and they remind me of how your job isn't you life. I know that they were meant for great things. I think my mom did very well with her life. She has done a lot actually. A lot of volunteer work, she's very helping with the community, and she definetly has left a great impression on others. Sure, she's not a famous singer, but that doesn't stop her from singing all the time. And my dad had many options to do awesome things. He had a chance to be a rock star, a mathematition (sp), and he could have been the best teacher in the world. Acutally, he was the best teacher, just not in a classroom. And I remember him telling me this story and I will never forget it. My dad always tells me these things and has no idea how much they have effected me.
We were in Niagra Falls (where he grew up) and my family and Nona were walking around the neighbourhood and my dad went off on his own to look at his old high school. He started thinking about his life and if he's made the right choices. He thought about his oportunity to be a drummer, and if he should have done that instead of taking the path he chose. Just then as he thought that, he heard my voice and I was running toward him. As soon as he saw me he knew that he made the right choice, and has no regrets.
I love this story because no matter how much I want to do the things I want to do, a job is just a job. Family comes first. And i know that if I have kids, my career wont mean anything to me, because the only thing that'll matter is my family and friends. People who love me.
I know I'm getting sappy, but to end things with even more sap, I just want to say, I love you man! All of my friends have made me a better person and made me realized how important it is to have good people in my life. Thanks.
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[04 Feb 2005|01:56am] |
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I feel so bad for my cousin. My aunt is dying of cancer, and she only has a few months left. I couldn't imagine what my cousins are going through. It's going to be so sad when we go to the funeral. Well, most funerals are... but I don't know what to do for her. I hate feeling helpless.
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[03 Feb 2005|12:12am] |
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ee! finally! new pic!
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| And I miss you looove |
[02 Feb 2005|10:57pm] |
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Miss you Love-Silverchair |
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I can't enough of "Miss you Love-Silverchair" sooooooo goood! I don't know what it is. Its such a simple, pretty song! I love Daniel __(can't remember his last name)__ but I love him! Best voice ever! And good at guitar too! Oh...my love. Oh I miss Love as well Dan..I hear ya...*cries/sways*
Anywho, I went up again at Yuk Yuks and it was pretty entertaining. Crazy crowd we had. Good thing I was third and got it over with so I wasn't freaking out. But yeah my material was so bad! I was freaking out because I had NOTHING! I was talking about lazyness as a disease? What the hell? But then I made fun of it by making a list of top 5 reasons Angie Cavallin should not do stand up and they got a kick out of it yay! A lot of things happened and I did write it down but then stupid lj messed up and it's all gone! But it's not that interesting so...yeah..its gone haha.
Oh god, when is Valentines day? Two weeks and a bit...blah...oh crap! I have to get ready for Guelph! Eeekk... well anyway, tip your waitresses!
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| Nothing beats staring at this blank page... |
[30 Jan 2005|01:52pm] |
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Oh boy,
Have I had an odd weekend. On friday, I come to from a typical crazy day at school (I HAVE SUCH WRITER'S BLOCK ITS NOT FUNNY! It's been lasting me a good two weeks and still continues!) Anyway, JoJo tells me on the phone she's moving to Montreal on THURSDAY! She's staying with her aunt and she's going to school there. I'm so sad! I'll hardly be seeing her. And so I was pissed about that (but I'm happy for her as well) and so I called Darren up to hang out and before he came over my sister told me she's getting tested for sffhfeuehufe something, but it ends with cancer. Thank god she can't die from it if she has it, but she would have to have surgery. So then Darren comes and he and I and some other guys go bowling and then we went to Matt's and then Colin and I went to Darren's and hung out till 4:30am. Good times.
Then on Sat I finally found out that "The Chad" doesn't like me! But no, it's good! I told him, "okay, at the the risk of sounding lame, I have a crush on you." and he said "at the risk of sounding phycic, I kind of knew" but he said he wasn't looking for a gf right now (meaning he doesn't like me that way and has another girl on the mind). But he said I was an awesome person and that he was flattered. And we were just talking and stuff. It was a really good rejection I must say, and I feel very relieved. It didn't go the way I hoped, but it went better than it could have. So now we're just friends.
And then later on that day JoJo and I went out and video taped our little adventures. We climbed this huge snowbank and it was sooo much fun! It was like being a kid again! It felt so good. Then we visited out "chill hills" and documented our thoughts; i.e. bitched about boys lol
So that was my weekend so far, and today is my last day at cummy Pizza Hut! Woo!
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| Awesome Day! |
[26 Jan 2005|12:41pm] |
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Alo!
Yesterday was the best day ever! I performed at Yuk Yuks! And I want to thank all you guys that came, I'm so glad you did because I was soo happy with how I did considering the fit I was getting the night before about my act. I was doing head stands to help me relax and focus because I was going insane with not knowing what my material should be. I had pages beyong pages of crap. I'm such a moron though cause my stand up was already written for me, ready to go but I thought it was crap until I read it outloud and compared it to my other stuff.
Anywho, I was worried I wouldn't remember my material but I knew it! yay! If you want to give some feed back on what I should talk more about/less about, any critique is fine cause I'm going up again next week and I need material haha. But yeah, that Francis kid I brought on stage asked me out for real! How awesome is that?! Talk about weird...maybe I should use stand up as a dating service. But theres only one guy I'm eyeing...soon my friends I shall make my move...soon...ahem... But it was so cute! We gave each other a big hug and said "we have the same material". Aww I love him!
So yeah, all in all it was the best day! And then Jessica, Rachel and I ate TONS on junk food! mmm good times
tootles!
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| Dun dun dun dun duuunnn |
[23 Jan 2005|02:14pm] |
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Okay, today I am quitting my job. I just hope I don't back out like I did the last few weeks. But really, unless they schedule me for 8 hrs next week I am soooo out of there! I have only been working the 3 hrs a week! Thats 21 bucks a week! I can get more money selling dead skin off my ass! (Not that I have dead skin off my ass, but you get the idea). I will give them my two weeks notice today. I'm a little scared because I dont have a job waiting for me, but I've had two paying gigs so far just to put home videos on dvd. And I finished my Wedding Demo video so now I can show it to ppl that want to get married! I am on my way baby! PLus, I'm suppose to find an agent soon so hopefully I get a few jobs here and there. Freelance baby! And some places are hiring so If I find a part time job that pays more than $7 bucks an hour and puts me on for more than THREE HOURS A WEEK! Then I'm happy. Also, we're getting ready for the sketch show and I need most of March off because thats when we rehearse. So being unemployed for a couple months shouldn't kill me right?? riiightt?? Oh god...
Balls don't back down on me now!
Ahhhhh!!! Yuk yuks on Tues!!! Two days away! I still haven't memorized my stuff! I'm going to find out tomorrow how long my set is so I'll bring my material to school and work on it during breaks. Bah! I also have to read something for english for tomorrow! curses... I should get to that sometime today.
MY PARENTS ARE COMING HOME TODAY!!!! I haven't really missed them because I've had total freedom for a week! MWHAHA. But in a way it's good because the house is FINALLY clean! Oh man you should have seen the disaster of a house it was. On second thought, you shouldn't have seen it. my sister still has to clean our bathroom (which she wont get to unless I poke her with a stick. Hmm...)
So thats my exciting day. Wish me luck! (On quitting and yuk yuks and homework...oh man, I need a miracle)
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| BAH! |
[17 Jan 2005|07:58pm] |
Hey hey
I am slowly going crazy! I am getting NO sleep, my writing isn't origional, and I SUCK at physical comedy! I almost cried in class! It was very good learning wise, but once I open that door to perform I choke! I can't believe how scared and how much I don't let my body work when I get in front of my class like that. It's soo annoying. I know my class doesn't care, and they want to support me, but I just start thinking too much and it comes off as fake! My teacher worked with me for like, 15min infront of my class and I was getting so frusterated I wanted to cry because I couldn't let myself go.
What he got me to do was to make a noise when I breathe and when I did you could tell I was tensed and he tried to let everything go and a guy in my class said something and I was like "quiet you" and my teach was like "yes, yell at him! go for it!" and I let out a HUGE scream right at him and he made me do it 5 more times and much louder and longer. It felt soooo good but I felt like a huge ass!
Then I worked on my clown during that 15 min and I was working on my physical side and my voice and it was so hard to present my "invention" (especially when it wasn't working) and then I was thinking and I lost it all so I got frusterated, threw my invention and walked out. I was still in "character" but I sucked ass. My teach talked to me after class and I almost tried again. I told him I was scared and he kept asking what scared me and just him asking me that scared me. I didn't want to know what scared me. It's so ironic that I'm stoping myself letting go because I'm afraid I wont be funny. But me doing that is making me NOT funny. ITS SOOO HARD!!
But I have to fail to succeed. Oh god...
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[09 Jan 2005|11:34pm] |
Hey hey,
Well, school is starting for me tomorrow! I AM SOO HAPPPY! Yes, that's right, I miss school. I have something to do during the day!
I belive we're doing clown tomorrow! YAY! But then I have voice and english...ewwww....
Anywho, I'm meeting my new Improv teacher on Tues and I hear he is incredible! He's taught Mike Myers at SC or somewhere, and he's worked with Martin Short and John Candy! Exciting!!
I can't sleep. I think it's because I'm excited or because I'm restless. I'll go with restless, it's less pathetic lol.
Yeah I don't know what to type..I think I'm getting tired...blah...
night!
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